similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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