It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
