Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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