O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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