no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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