I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am puke
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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