god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
