Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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