i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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