If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
