what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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