I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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