he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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