i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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