after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
