he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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