You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
