FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
