You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
