I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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