He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
