i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
