I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
