I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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