i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
