Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
