I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
