I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
