Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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