ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
