Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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