We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
