i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
