dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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