doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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