They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
please come you make the beer taste better
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Mom said you looked used
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
