i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I FOUND THE LEGS
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
