69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
