Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he shaved USA in his pubs
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize