so that wasnt chicken after all
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
