I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
