HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize