Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
