I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
