girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
