I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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