I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
