the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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