just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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