Can Purell be used as lube?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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