I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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