It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm too high and old for this...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
