So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
