We got so high we made milksteak
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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