in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
