Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
