sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
