we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
