Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just tell him i said nine months
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
