Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
