I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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